Freewriting

Too many things are going through my head to concentrate on work, so I'm gonna try to put a few of them down to see what happens.

School. I really would like to go back to school. Not because I want to attend classes and study for exams and everything but so I don't feel so STUCK job-wise since I'm stuck working. And because I have a huge desire to make a difference in child welfare / adoption / foster care. Kinda hard to do that without a LSW, let alone without a bachelor's degree. Therefore, I'd like to finish my degree. Traditional school is not possible at the time, and it might not ever be. Online programs for sociology, behavioral science, or psychology are pretty hard to find. There's lots to consider: time and money are the big ones. But if I can find a way to make it work, I think I'm gonna do it. Now to get the support I need to make it happen...

Birthday. Today Mike is 29. I can't believe we're that close to 30 and still childless. So not what I had dreamed of for my future. Years ago, we said we were going to pursue adoption when we were 30. I had no idea it would actually take practically that long before we would be able to start. Holidays and birthdays are tough times to be IF. Another year gone by with no children. Lots of family gatherings for people to ask when we're gonna get started on that. Lots of explanations required about how adoption really works and the medical basis for IF. Lots of opportunities to see younger family members growing their families with no problems at all. Mike will be a good dad. I wish I could give that to him now.

Christmas. I'm tired of it already! I'm tired of the commercialization. I'm tired of the materialism. I'm tired of the expectations people place on others. I'm tired of the shallowness of people claiming that it's about Christ and then not reflecting who Christ was and what He did in their actions. Despite what I already mentioned about family gatherings, I do enjoy the opportunity to get together with my family.

Family. Speaking of family, on Friday my entire immediate family will be together. Andrew, Gina, Ben, Jade, Zach, DeLyn, Mom, Dad, Mike, and me (and Lucy, too!). It will be chaotic and crazy, but it will be good to spend time with them. I'm sure there will be a lot of awkward moments since Jade is nearing her due date. And some of us do not see eye to eye on much, so there could be some interesting discussions ;) But they're my family, and I love them all. I wouldn't trade any of them for anyone else.