Peace Be Still update

I survived teaching the workshop on peace. (Thanks to Karen who's "letting go" story fit right in with my lesson.) I had a lot of comments about it afterward, and I made a few people cry. I always wonder what the real effect was on people when I teach. I know that sharing my experience can have an effect on people - it's a pretty traumatic story. But did I teach them anything? Did they learn that God is faithful in everything, even when it doesn't seem like it?

And then I wonder about my delivery of my message. I hate going to ladies' retreats and programs and just hearing people tell a bunch of funny or sad stories. I don't want to hear a bunch of stories. I want to learn more about God's word and His will for our lives. I want to be encouraged to be faithful and inspired to step outside my comfort zone to find new ways to serve. I like to hear a lot of Scriptures, but it needs to be balanced with practical application. I'm afraid I didn't use a lot of Scriptures when I was speaking, but I did have a lot of Scriptures on the outlines I handed out. Is that enough?

And then I wonder about people's overall impression of me. Having an extraordinary experience and surviving it seems to make people appear to be extraordinary. I'm really not. The truth is that many days I barely get by, and I know that I only get by with the grace of God. But do people see God's grace and mercy and strength in me, or do they see someone who thinks she can get by on her own?

I know that it doesn't do me any good to dwell on these questions. I can be confident in the fact that I spent a lot of time preparing my lesson and that I prayed about it. I did what I could, and I can't undo or redo any of Saturday. But as I was discussing last night with a missionary from Ghana, I'm a control freak and a perfectionist. As we were discussing our plans to adopt in the future, she said, "you'll need to let go of that when you have kids."

I know. I know.