I'll bet you've had about enough

I'll bet you've had about enough
of people telling you how strong you are
and how great you're doing during
this awful, difficult period in your life.
Maybe you'd rather hear someone say
how much this sucks, how outrageous
and unfair it is.
Maybe you'd rather hear
someone tell you that you don't
have to be strong all the time.
Or that it's definitely okay
to curse fate and throw
a tantrum or two.
So here I am to tell you
all that stuff and more,
to let you know where I stand,
which is right in your corner.
There's no right way or wrong way
at a time like this.
However you work through this thing
is immaterial to me.
All I care about is that
you ask for what you need,
lean on those who love you,
and try to trust me when I say
that you'll come out the other side.
--Jeannie Hund

I received a card with this message yesterday from a lady from church. I don't know her very well, so I don't know if she's very intuitive or if she just got lucky. But this is the best card I've received.

I'm never sure what to say when people tell me, "You seem to be handling this really well."

Is it supposed to be a compliment? Am I supposed to feel stronger because I appear to be coping better than they think they would if there were in my situation?

Or am I really that good at faking it?

No one sees how many nights I cry myself to sleep. No one sees how many days I sit at my desk at work and stare at the computer, not able to get anything done. No one hears the cries of my soul. No one knows how I torment myself with thoughts of how one different action on September 19 could have changed my life and the lives of many others.

What would they think if they knew what was really going on with me?

I'm thankful that some people know that sometimes life just sucks. Sometimes it's okay to not want to get out of bed. Sometimes it's okay to kick and scream and cry.

And some day I'll come out the other side.