Do not fear

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

Lately I have been overcome with anxiety about different situations. I worry if there is any way to go on with my life after recent events. I worry if there will ever be such a thing as normal again. I worry if I will be stuck in a job I don't like forever. I worry if I will ever be able to have children. I worry if having children will end up costing so much that I will not be able to afford to raise them. I worry about my family. I worry about Mike's family. I worry if I will ever be able to have joy in spite of my circumstances. To sum it up, I worry about everything.

Isaiah reminds me that I do not need to have everything figured out. I don't have to have the perfect plan to make the future work out. I serve a God who is bigger than infertility and accidents, bigger than disease and finances. The God I serve will never leave or forsake me. He will sustain me in times of trouble. He will carry me when I am weak if I let Him.

Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.
Isaiah 40:30-31

I pray for the desire to let God be God. I pray for the will to decide to live life to the fullest in the midst of disappointment. I pray for the ability to choose to serve God in all things instead of being upset about not getting my way. Maybe that's what Isaiah meant when he said, "those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength". Maybe he meant to put God first in everything and not concern ourselves with our desires and then God will give us strength.